“You were put on this earth to achieve your greatest self, to live out your purpose, and to do it, courageously.”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
An amazing opportunity was presented before me. God placed a beautiful woman in my life to share with me that she had the ear of some decision-making people. She was so excited to share some info with them about me and I could have an opportunity to speak at an event. I’ve spoken at about 2 or 3 events 1 physically and 2 virtually. So this opportunity would have been amazing.
Our Feelings and Thoughts Get in the Way
It’s crazy how we have those feeling of anxiety pop up instantly when we imagine stepping out of our comfort zone. I started feeling queasy instantly. I pondered, I also felt a bit of excitement. I started to think about what I would share with God’s beautiful jewels of women. Before the conversation was over I backed down and told her, “You know what, you can wait to tell them about me after I hit Best Seller.”
Why did I care about Best Seller?
I thought I needed:
- a status
- some clout
- some structure
- something to pitch at the end
This woman cared nothing about my status. She knew my heart, my character, my values and beliefs and she thought I was enough just as I am. I’m sharing this because I believe the same about you. You are enough, your purpose in this life is so rooted in your heart, character, values and beliefs! I remember when a lady asked me did I know what my values were for my life and I was stunned at the hesitation. I couldn’t spit them out?? And I’m not talking about the surface God first, family second, business third. I’m talking about things like:
I hit Best Seller, Now What?
Surprisingly, Just two days ago I hit not only Best-Seller but International #1 Best seller, in 4 countries!!! Pauses for Celebration!!!! Yes I’m totally stoked but the crazy thing is I don’t feel anymore relieved or prepared to take on this speaking opportunity. I still don’t feel like now is the time. Nothing miraculously changed to make me ready. I don’t feel any different as a person, as a woman, as a coach. I’m still who I am. I wonder to myself what was holding me back from saying YES, why did I tell myself no.
SO here’s the thing, every excuse that you make to why you can’t xyz… and here’s the list. You cant:
- reach out to a client
- go to a networking event
- start a new project
- engage in your creative calling
- share your story
- be consistent with showing up
…is you telling yourself no. It’s so important to do the inner work around these instances when you have told yourself no. I teach my clients how to say yes to themselves now and not only say yes but dig deep on the reasons why they are saying no. I was such a pro at telling myself no and despite this event, I’ve generally gotten a whole lot better about it. But at each new level that you upgrade to, there is a new lesson to work through and learn from so you can continue to grow beyond where you can imagine. I’ve totally learned from that lesson and I’m saying Yes today, not only to this speaking opportunity but to collaborations and so much more!!
Why do we tell ourselves no?
Have you ever thought of the reasons why you say no to yourself? Here’s some reasons why:
- You get nervous
- You start feeling sick
- You’re too cautious
- You figure you don’t know enough
- You’ve got to be perfect first
- You may talk, teach, and coach around non-conventional subjects
- You think people may not be interested
- they might judge you
- It would feel awkward standing in front of such a large group of people
- what if you ramble
- how would you stay organized
- You think, “Oh not me… I’m not good enough for this opportunity, who am I to stand before these women”.
I’m sure if not all ….most of these thoughts and emotions popped up for me too. Each one of your thoughts and emotions are attached to other memories and experiences as well. That’s why it’s so important to address your feelings and peel the onion back on your emotions. As we work through aspects of fear, doubt, and insecurities related to a particular event we begin to tear down the destructive intensity of other thoughts and emotions that affect all areas of our lives. I’m working on this new level and I’m so ready to see where God is taking me and you next!
I want to see you flourishing in your calling in your purpose, taking action and taking risks on you! Don’t allow status, accolades, certificates, and acknowledgments to stop you from standing up and speaking your truth!