6 Secrets for Women Who Want to Have It All: Including Working Life Balance

by Justina Ford | Jan 11, 2017 | Business Mindset, Motherhood & Homeschooling | 0 comments

6 Secrets for Women Who Want to Have It All: Including Working Life Balance

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Introduction

This question,“can women have it all?” really puts a lot of pressure on women to believe that we actually are responsible for doing it all or that we have to do it “all”.

It imposes the idea that “all”, is only our responsibility. It removes the men in our lives from the equation.

Let’s ask that another way. Can men really have it all? How did that feel? What effect does that question have on men?

I guess somehow in this society we believe that men already have it all. So we don’t have to ask them that. But this is so far from true. Men struggle with not having a clear idea of what “All” means to them as well.

Questioning if women can have it all also creates a sense of lack. It stirs up the “I’m not enough stories”. We begin to question the choices in our life thinking that we to have something more. When you are doing what you love that counts as having it all.

Here are My 6 secrets to having it all

1. You have to Determine what “All” means to you.

Having it all may mean running your own passion-based business AND having time for your children.

It could also mean being a stay at home mom without the business or job.

Either way determining what makes you happy and not getting caught up with what society thinks you should have is the first step to truly having it all…your way

2. Embrace the idea that It’s ok for you to want what you want.

Get clear on what you really want out of life

There doesn’t have to be this energy of guilt surrounding your desires to grow your business and spend time with your children.

It’s not one or the other it’s really about you embracing your desires and being creative about achieving them

3. Be creative in solving your problems.

We all run into snags sometimes.

Maybe you’ll have to strategize around what hours you can work with wanting to be home when your kids get out of school (remember only if that is an actual desire of yours to be there when they get out of school and not because you feel obligated to).

Maybe you’ll have to talk to your boss about doing some hours from home.

Either way being creative in solving the problems that may be preventing you from doing all that you desire is key!

4.You have to be a master at asking for help: You can’t do it alone.

Actually, I’m begging you not to attempt to do it alone.

I got a taste of being a single parent when my husband got deployed and I got a chance to exercise my super powers of asking for help.

That means asking the family that is nearby, neighbors, friends, church members, and sports coaches for help.

I remember having a 2-day commercial shoot with Target and having to ask my neighbor to take my son to practice 2 days in a row because I wasn’t able to.

I couldn’t have done the commercial shoot and kept my son on the all-star football team without help

5. Believe that you can have it “all” (whatever that means to you)

You must believe that the things you desire in life are achievable.

I remember when I started my first passion based business that required me leaving the home. I used to say yes in faith to the jobs I was requested for.

I didn’t have child care set up yet but I believed that something would come through in order for me to be able to make it.

6. Stop trying to have it “all” and embrace where you’re at.

Do all that you can with what you already have.

You’re all is something that continually changes.

In one of my “all” moments I was doing 1 thing homeschooling my children, no coaching, and makeup business, no writing, no published articles and we were on top of the world.

My all began to change at different stages in my life.

So I’m not chasing it all, I’m chasing embracing who I am and what I believe and living a life that is aligned with my values.

Justina is a Pro MUA and Mindset and Success Coach. You can find her in her Facebook Group The Purposeful Pursuit to a Beautiful You.

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Justina Ford

INTUITIVE BUSINESS COACH AND INNER HEALING PRACTITIONER

Justina holds a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology, a Master’s in Human Service Counseling focused in Business, and additional training in the Emotional Freedom Technique and Splankna Therapy. She is an Amazon #1 International Best-Selling Author, Huffington Post Contributor and Contributing Author of Notes to Younger Women. She also serves as a Commercial Makeup Artist to Professional Photographers, Marketing and Advertising Teams. She is an intuitive business coach and Christian energy healer. She calls herself The Soul-Purpose Alignment Strategist. She helps new and aspiring Christian Coaches and service based Mompreneurs to overcome limiting beliefs surrounding their purpose and their call to create in the marketplace.

Click HERE to schedule a complimentary clarity session with her.

You can also find her in her Facebook Group The Purposeful Pursuit to a Beautiful You

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How I Honored My Values and Respected My Boundaries Around Marriage and Business

by Justina Ford | Sep 12, 2016 | Business Mindset | 2 comments

I did a search to see when the last time it was that I posted in a FB group relevant to my niche. I found that it was the end of June. So that means all of July, August and now the beginning of September . That’s about 10 weeks of internal reflection without posting in any Facebook groups, well except my own. June’s around the time I realized I had to take a step back from my own business goals to support my husband’s new business. I can’t say I made the decision all at once or head in with the full awareness of what I was doing. I think I was pulled by the hair just a little bit with constant reminders of “now…this is your business not mine remember” More so trying to convince myself and not him…

I decided to step back from goals and begin to support him with his business little by little and day by day and soon realized that it was what I meant to do. At first, I struggled with the idea of letting go of my own desires and passions and putting myself on the back burner once again. You know how we moms tend to put ourselves last and we are so quick to put down what we are working on in efforts to help everyone else and solve everyone else’s problems. Initially I struggled with this being the theme of my life for the summer. I wrestled with the idea of putting 20 plus hours into my husband’s business and I worried about taking on too much, where eventually his business would become our business. But what was I really running away from or what was I really resistant to.

It was the idea of boundaries…I wanted to establish the boundary of having a business of my own. But then I was reminded that “my business” isn’t even the right term. It’s HIS (God’s) business. So I had to re-evaluate my over-arching goal for our family. That goal has always been freedom, flexibility and finances. Was helping my husband taking me away from the bigger goal at hand? Was laying aside my own desires and hard work really suffocating me from operating as the entrepreneur and leader that I was. I had to have a change of heart and say no.

Putting “My business” to the side really gave me an opportunity to live up to one of my values and that was “family first no matter what!” Hey this is what I teach in my coaching. How to live an authentic life that reflects our values and beliefs. And you know what it’s been so rewarding!

It’s been rewarding:

to be in a position to train and motivate my husband

to be in a place where I could choose to slow down on my business and honor my commitment to my husband

to experience working together and encouraging each other

to watch my husband, try his best and grow in something totally out of his comfort zone

to experience his growth in the insurance industry (he’s an expert at the presentation now)

to give my children the opportunity to become a little more independent

to have my children grow closer as they couldn’t rely on me being there 24/7

to see our faith in God, grow (because starting a new business is hard and we were lacking the security of having a savings, writing another post on that soon) why we should have had a savings before embarking on our new business venture and how we’ll have a second go around)

Sometimes we talk about honoring our values and living an authentic life full of purpose but what about when it comes at cost to you? What if it means investing in someone else to help them grow? I would have been a hypocrite to the message that I share and put out had not stepped back from my own business and helped my husband with his. And no I didn’t take these actions to avoid being a hypocrite. I was actually pretty reistant and it took some time for reflection and again day by day actions of showing up for him that helped me to see it differently.

Back to boundaries, no I didn’t just let my boundaries go all together. No I didn’t just fold and give up on myself and adopt my husband’s dream. I created parameters for success. We put a timeline on how long I would be helping him to build confidence in his new role as an independent insurance agent. I committed to putting my business to the side up until school started (we homeschool by the way) and then I we decided how I would ween myself out of being present. So two weeks of going MWF, the two more weeks of going T/TH and then going out one day a week to be a continued support. You see I’ve been a licensed insurance agent for 10 years now (ok I may have let it lapse a time or two but you get my point) so my sales objection fighting skill were needed in order to help my husband build confidence to even try something new and I wasn’t going to withhold that from him. Not at time like this when he needed me the most.

After all this wonderful awareness and gratitude toward how we decided to work through all of this, lo and behold my husband came to a realization that acting as an independent agent which really means being responsible for his own activity just like a business owner would wasn’t really a good idea for us afterall. So, in the end I got the opportunity to work alongside my husband and truly be a great support to him affording him the flexibility to try a new career path in his life. That’s truly a gift and warms my heart to have played a role in his life like this when he has truly sacrificed so much for this country and our family. We did this with grace, peace, and faith all while honoring are values and beliefs and I get to be full on with my business again. Yippeee!!

Here’s to more writing, increasing my audience, more makeup artistry gigs, and creating wonderful coaching packages for multi-passionate women of faith who are looking to operate in a more authentic and purposeful life and business. Your soulpurpose is waiting on you to show up lady!!!

I wonder sometimes because these situations are always matters of the heart. What if I would have had an attitude? What it I wouldn’t have had a gracious giving heart in the area of my time and talent with the willingness to put my desires on hold for a time and maturely and creatively create boundaries around how to move forward? What If I had to go through this lesson all over again?

I just thank God that he blessed us with the wisdom to navigate this difficult time and that he brought us out stronger than ever. You know what I’m reminded that it was God’s time, God’s talent and I let him use me as he saw fit. That was the beauty in all of this. Check out my 10-Day Now…That’s a Beautiful You Mindset Makeover Charge!